Clash of the Brigades
by Shunk
Summary: Language. Just when things were finally starting to get as calm as they could be, the SoS Brigade is met with the challenge of a rival group, the Gurren Brigade. Hopefully, they can all make it out of this alive. TTGL/TMoHS crossover
1. Who the hell do you think I am!

**Clash of the Brigades**

_I don't own anything._

**Part I: Just who the hell do you think I am!**

Well, it was a relatively quiet day in the clubroom. Nagato had just returned from another one of periodic visits to the Computer club, the lovely Miss Asahina was brewing another pot of tea, Koizumi and I were engaged in an exciting game of chess (it took me a few more turns to get into a winning position against the smug bastard than normally; perhaps he's getting better), and Haruhi was nowhere to be found.

Checkmate.

"Well, Kyon, it looks like you've won again. I'm impressed."

Hopefully, you're not too impressed. A 5-year old who had just learned the names of all the pieces could have beaten you.

He smiled as he put the pieces and board away, and placed it back on the bottom shelf of the bookcase. Pulling out a deck of cards, and still smiling, he then suggested that we play something a bit different. "Perhaps I'd be better off trying to win against you in a game of luck, rather than skill."

So, you pretty much just admitted that you're terrible at all these games? Damn, I should have recorded that!

Just then, the door slammed open, and everyone except Nagato turned to face what would obviously be our indomitable leader.

Instead, we were greeted by a musclehead who looked like he was only good at fighting and a girl who rivaled Asahina in beauty, but looked like she wanted the beat the musclehead over the head with a bat…which I just now noticed she was carrying.

"Yeah, this room's kind of small, but it'll have to do as our new headquarters."

"Um, bro, I don't think we can just go around this place and claim whatever room we want." The kid behind him, probably the voice-of-reason, reminded me of myself, although he was more afraid of who could be called the "leader" of this group rather than punitive. I wouldn't be surprised; the kid was only about half of the leader's size, and didn't look like he could put up much of a fight. Then again, nobody said anything about that busboy after he beat up that bodybuilder in that one book…by 'Palace Nick' or some other weird name. I can't remember.

"He's right. We should probably at least _ask _the people in charge, or at the very least, the people who are _already here_, if we can use this room or not."

"I'm sure they won't mind."

"You should always listen to the leading lady, 'hon. She might actually save you one day."

Another guy (at least, I think it was a guy) came in from the hallway. To be frank, he looked like the kind of guy would get along pretty well with Mr. Esper here. Following him closely was a short girl, maybe a bit shorter than Nagato, with white hair and blue eyes. If this were some kind of fantasy, she would probably fit the role very well of 'helpless princess.' She just walked in and started speaking in a very polite way. "Pardon us, friends, but we are looking for a room that we can use to set up our club. Might you know where we are able to find one?"

Nobody had said anything, and there was a staredown between the SoS members and this new crew who had yet to introduce themselves.

There was a light rhythmic sound coming from somewhere outside the hallway, almost like thunder. The sound was getting closer and closer. Maybe if we don't move, whatever's making the sound won't be able to find us. Then, from behind where the leader guy was standing, there was a deafening screech as our own leader had just leaped from behind him, taking him out in a single blow. Haruhi did a somersault, leapt to her feet, and twisted herself around in one move. If she had been anybody else, I would have probably found that maneuver incredibly alluring…but with Haruhi, it's kind of standard fare now.

"What the hell was that! Who tackled me?"

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing in _my _clubroom, you idiot? You'd better get out of here or you'll face the full wrath of the SoS Brigade!"

I beg you, please keep me out of this. I don't feel like getting into a fight today…or any day, for that matter.

" 'Idiot?' How dare you call me an idiot? Just who the hell do you think I am, you little bitch!"

The redhead behind the leader just put her hand to her face and looked at her watch, as if to time whatever was about to happen next. The guy took a big breath and put on a pair of orange pointed sunglasses just as he was about to begin what would hopefully be a short speech.

"Transferring from the Giha Preparatory School to North High for reasons known only to himself and his closest followers, he stakes out a claim for those loyal enough to follow behind him and bask in his manly glory! He has conquered many rivals, and the renown of his Gurren Brigade has spread far and wide throughout the entire world! The Mighty Kamina answers to no one, and especially not to a spoiled little brat such as yourself!"

Oh brother. It looks like this Kamina guy here has an even bigger ego than Haruhi herself. I can already tell this is going to be an incredibly long day.

....................................................

I always wondered what would happen if those two were to meet up. Some ideas are still cooking into my head, but I do have a definite way to bring in the combining aspect of Gurren Lagann in here.


	2. Just who are these guys, anyway?

A/n: I have absolutely no idea on how this is going to end. To be honest, I kind of just picked up the idea and started writing. Something may come to me, but I'm afraid it's touch-and-go for the moment…hopefully I won't have to scrap the entire idea.

To the reviewers: Of course it's impossible and ridiculous! Haruhi doesn't acknowledge any limitations whatsoever, and Kamina kicks logic to the curb and does the impossible!

Just some questions which I know people will have. The Gurren Brigade seen here is NOT the same Gurren Brigade as in Gurren Lagann. Rather, it's a group of characters who are completely based off of them from what I can gather on their personalities and how they would act in the real world without giant mechs destroying everything…or proper ages (Leeron is the same age as everyone else here.)

Also, to nukerjsr: that's not really my thing, considering that all the characters could not really be confused with one another (save Haruhi and Kamina) with regards to their speaking mannerisms.

'Palace Nick' = Palahniuk. Kudos if you got that. Without further ado, on with the story! (_I don't own anything._)

**Part II: Who are these guys, anyway?**

_This is the tale of a man who struggles to maintain a relatively peaceful life. The relative quiet of Haruhi Suzumiya and her activities involving the infamous SoS Brigade quickly shattered when a new rival revealed himself in the form of Kamina, leader of the Gurren Brigade. The man known as Kyon continues to try to find calm in the midst of this storm as the rest of his high school_—

"KYON! Are you even listening to me? We need ideas so that bigheaded jerk doesn't gain any more power!" Haruhi was acting as if she was an incredible improvement from the guy who had introduced himself to us yesterday. Luckily, some teachers down the hall were able to hear his tirade and escorted his 'brigade' away from the room before any blood was shed. No offense, guy, but I think that Haruhi could probably be able to beat you one-on-one; I have a feeling that she would end up fighting dirty.

I honestly could care less about this 'brigade clash,' but I decided to humor Haruhi lest she let out some of her pent-up rage against my fatigued body; I ended up pulling an all-nighter because I had several projects due the next morning which I hadn't even started until that night, not to mention the barrage of phone calls from Haruhi who just wanted to complain about the guy.

It seems to me that the only real plan of attack that would relatively work against these guys would be to fight them at their own game; it's how you usually got things done, so why wouldn't it work now?

"This guy's different, I know he is! He doesn't follow any rules and tends to just do as he desires. It disgusts me that someone could be going around that unchecked."

Look who's talking. Haruhi turned to scowl at me as if I've just made a great insult against her. Shit, did I say that out loud?

"I asked around here for any information of the guy, but nobody really pulled through. The only person who was relatively useful was Taniguchi. Apparently, he had dated this girl Kiyal Bachika for a month, and all she would talk about was Kamina."

I'm not sure what I was more surprised of; Haruhi going to that moron for information or the fact that he actually managed to have a girlfriend for more than 2 days.

"Anyway, the only useful thing I got out of the guy was that Kamina had been expelled for multiple fights with this guy who called himself 'Virus' or some dumb name like that. From what I know, Kamina beat the guy up so that he was hospitalized for a couple days. Kamina was expelled on the spot. I swear, some people have no self-control at all."

Very enlightening, Haruhi, but how do I know all of this is true? Certain details can be expressed in different ways, leaving much of a story up to interpretation.

"How dare you call your leader a liar! Just for that, you're going to have to be punished!"

Hold on, there. I'm not calling you a liar by any means (at least, not out loud.) How do you know that Taniguchi is a reliable source?

At least now she had calmed down a bit. "I don't, but that's the only thing we have so far on the guy right now, so we're just going to have to roll with it!" It's a pity that you only trust things when it directly concerns an opportunity for you to flaunt your ego. Whatever. At least she's done for now…now to get some sleep while Okabe rambles on about whatever he rambles on about.

…………………………………………………………………..

Later that day, I managed to see Kamina and the short kid walking around. From what I was able to hear, he was trying to tell the kid not to believe in himself. Real great words of wisdom there, pal. Why don't you just tell him to break through the heavens? I'm sure that will confuse him even more. Luckily, they didn't see me as I headed toward the clubroom to get some much-needed answers.

Even before I knocked on the door, I noticed that there was a piece of paper taped over the window in place of Haruhi's tapeworm of a logo…it looked a bit like a flame wearing sunglasses with the words "Future Location of Gurren Brigade" written on it. Thankfully, Haruhi hadn't seen this yet, or else she would most likely throw a fit. Knocking and not hearing a response, I entered the room and was greeted by the one person who would most likely know everything about what was going on right now.

"Kyon, I'm glad you could spare some of your time. Please, sit down."

I'm a bit tense here, Koizumi, so if you could just get to the point in answering my question. Just who are these guys, anyway?

"Very well, I'll just give you the short version and answer anything that I can, but all I know are the identities."

Just tell me so I can head back. I really don't feel like wasting a full lunch break here.

The smug bastard just chuckled to himself before continuing. "I'll start with Kamina. I'm pretty sure by now Haruhi has told you everything that she knows. For the most part, her information is correct; Kamina was expelled from Giha Preparatory for hospitalizing and nearly killing another student from a rival group; the student's actual name is unknown, but we do know that he went by the alias of Commander Viral within his own group. Kamina himself had a reputation of being a delinquent even before this fight, but the fight itself was the straw that broke the camel's back."

At least tell me that your source is more reliable than Haruhi's word-of-mouth retelling by Taniguchi.

"I can assure you, that the Organization has a reliable source on this. His name is Rossiu Adai, and you might actually get to meet him at some point, depending on how the current situation develops."

Knowing your organization and how you guys operate, I'm not sure if I would end up looking forward to that day.

"Let us continue. Yesterday, we had already met most of the Gurren Brigade, but Kamina still has some loyal followers of his group back at his old school. The people who we met yesterday were Simon Lagann, Yoko Littner, her cousin Leeron Littner, and Nia Teppelin…"

I really didn't pay much attention to the rest of the monologue, but at least I was now able to identify them all by name. Simon was the short kid who kept calling Kamina his 'bro,' Miss Yoko was the aggressive-yet-beautiful girl standing at Kamina's side, Leeron was the other guy (a highly debatable subject, considering his facial features and choice of clothing), and Nia was the polite one who had come in silently from the back. In all honesty, I really don't need a full dossier on each of these guys. All I want to know is what all this has to do with me.

"I was just about to get to that point. You see, the other members of the Organization believed that while Miss Suzumiya had been relatively calm in her day-to-day attitude, that she was still struggling with fits of boredom. We had recently noticed an increase in closed-space appearances, but had no idea how to alleviate her boredom without directly affecting anything else. That's when Rossiu had sent us some information regarding Kamina. By the time we had heard about it, the expulsion was already in full swing. We decided to intervene in a slight way by having Giha's school board suggest that Kamina transfer here."

So, let me get this straight. Your guys were the ones that got that 'manly' version of Haruhi here?

"We didn't force the board to do anything; we merely suggested it, stating that it would be in their best interest. However, that's not the point. The point here is that this is where a real trial will start. Miss Suzumiya now has a rival who will match her on almost equal terms. We just need you to help her get that extra push so that she becomes triumphant in whatever challenges await her against him."

So basically, that means I'm a ringer. Great. Well, hopefully she'll be able to gain a bit of self-control and believe in the Haruhi that everyone else believes in.

……………………………………………

Obligatory exposition chapter. After finishing this, I just realized how horrible I am at writing establishment. Whatever. It's the best that I can do at this point, and I hope that I at least did SOMETHING right. Considering I just flamed myself for being incredibly horrible at this type of writing, I welcome all reviews, flaming or otherwise. Hopefully amidst the pillars of fire there will be a grain of constructive criticism. At least now I can get back to writing action.


End file.
